On 1/26/07 2:00 PM, "Leah" wrote:
In case you didn’t fill up enough on donuts, sticky buns and caramel popcorn, there are now Twizzlers in the kitchen. Happy Friday.
On 1/26/07 2:28 PM, "Patty" wrote:
HI HO SILVER!!!!
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
In the lemon-lime light
It was one thirty and I was starving. Back-to-back client meetings really take it out of you.
I headed up to the executive conference rooms on the seventh floor, well-known for their leftover sandwiches. The trick is to strike in the brief window after the big brass depart from their fancy lunch meetings, but before Corporate Food Service picks up.
I hit the motherload in Boardroom 7022. A banquet of tasty fare stretched out on a buffet table before me. It was Shangri-La and I attacked. In record time, I had a brimming plate of delicious lunch and I ate it faster than you can set your hair on fire.
As I licked the crumbs from my plate and sighed, I happened to glance up. Hmmm. A TV. And, that's odd. I see a cutaway view of myself in the lower corner.
Slowly, my gaze lifted to the main screen. A whole roomful of guys in suits screamed "Hi!" simultaneously and burst out laughing.
I was not laughing. I was bright red. I packed up my stuff and ran.
I headed up to the executive conference rooms on the seventh floor, well-known for their leftover sandwiches. The trick is to strike in the brief window after the big brass depart from their fancy lunch meetings, but before Corporate Food Service picks up.
I hit the motherload in Boardroom 7022. A banquet of tasty fare stretched out on a buffet table before me. It was Shangri-La and I attacked. In record time, I had a brimming plate of delicious lunch and I ate it faster than you can set your hair on fire.
As I licked the crumbs from my plate and sighed, I happened to glance up. Hmmm. A TV. And, that's odd. I see a cutaway view of myself in the lower corner.
Slowly, my gaze lifted to the main screen. A whole roomful of guys in suits screamed "Hi!" simultaneously and burst out laughing.
I was not laughing. I was bright red. I packed up my stuff and ran.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Mini Ping-Pong / January Madness
What follows is a small sampling of the palaver characterizing our cutthroat mini-ping pong tornament. I say small sampling because several days in a row, I came back to my office after a meeting to discover 150+ unread bombastic ping-pong smack emails.
The mini-ping pong tournament began innocently enough, but devolved with some rapidity. Originally, the tourney was regular-sized; but oppugnant forces who had not grown up with ping-pong tables in their basements sited unfair advantage against those who had.
To level the playing field, it was decided to scale down the table to about half size, and to fashion a net in proportion with the table. New rules allowed for audience participation, in other words, flinging objects of various sizes at the competitors or engineering elaborate distraction techniques.
Apprarently, there certainly is "team" in "mini-ping pong." It just might not be obvious to normal people.
On 1/12/07 12:25 PM, "Kara" wrote:
Cottage cheese, power bars, horse testosterone...
I'm all set for mini-ping pong.
No mercy: Friday, 12:30, in the conference room.
Be there.
On 1/12/07 12:13 PM, "Leah" wrote:
RE: Ray's unnatural fear of used paperclips (otherwise known as OCD)
Used paper clip necklaces containing "Team Kara" pendants will be available at my desk starting Monday. Please stop by for your complimentary chain.
On 1/12/07 12:13 PM, "Ray" wrote:
You don't scare me with the used paper clip thing, ya know... Not really, anyway... Ok, maybe it makes me a little nervous... damn it, now I'm twitching again! I hate it when that happens!!
No matter though, my indomitable skill will always defeat scare tactics.
On 1/12/07 12:25 PM, "Kara" wrote:
Ah, you finally admit I scare you...
Excellent.
On 1/12/07 12:57 PM, "Mark" wrote:
Ray,
I also know some guys that sell something for the twitching. Easy dosing, site injectable.
On 1/12/07 1:07 PM, "Kara" wrote:
Let him twitch. Muahahaha.
On 1/12/07 1:45 PM, "Laura" wrote:
Ray won in his match against Kara and is going to play in the 2nd round of our Ping Pong Tournament. Ray will be facing Yara in their match in Round 2. The dates for the matches for Round 2 will be posted on the event board today.
On 1/12/07 1:50 PM, "Ray" wrote:
All you losers who supported Team Kara have to give your next paycheck to the only man that supported me... Shaun!! (what a suck up!)
On 1/12/07 2:34 PM, "Shuan" wrote:
Congrats Ray!
While everyone was pulling for Kara, I had insider information that Ray was at home studying the art of Ping Pong by watching games on ESPN 8 "The Ocho". I also believe in the underdog, hence why I also bleed Mets Blue and Orange.
On 1/12/07 2:50 PM, "Eric" wrote:
I think I might have to sway my allegiance to Team Ray - you gotta feel bad for someone whose only supporter was there because he was promised monetary reward. (reference prior email).
On 1/12/07 4:22 PM, "Eric" wrote:
You see – Ray has one (paid) supporter and all of a sudden its going to his head...
Just remember that Shaun's allegiance can be bought by the highest bidder.
On 1/12/07 4:30 PM, "Shuan" wrote:
Ray pays well.
On 1/12/07 4:45 PM, "Ray" wrote:
Well, at least Shaun's honest. Pricey, but honest.
On 1/12/07 5:56 PM, "Shuan" wrote:
Hey a guy's gotta eat.
The mini-ping pong tournament began innocently enough, but devolved with some rapidity. Originally, the tourney was regular-sized; but oppugnant forces who had not grown up with ping-pong tables in their basements sited unfair advantage against those who had.
To level the playing field, it was decided to scale down the table to about half size, and to fashion a net in proportion with the table. New rules allowed for audience participation, in other words, flinging objects of various sizes at the competitors or engineering elaborate distraction techniques.
Apprarently, there certainly is "team" in "mini-ping pong." It just might not be obvious to normal people.
On 1/12/07 12:25 PM, "Kara" wrote:
Cottage cheese, power bars, horse testosterone...
I'm all set for mini-ping pong.
No mercy: Friday, 12:30, in the conference room.
Be there.
On 1/12/07 12:13 PM, "Leah" wrote:
RE: Ray's unnatural fear of used paperclips (otherwise known as OCD)
Used paper clip necklaces containing "Team Kara" pendants will be available at my desk starting Monday. Please stop by for your complimentary chain.
On 1/12/07 12:13 PM, "Ray" wrote:
You don't scare me with the used paper clip thing, ya know... Not really, anyway... Ok, maybe it makes me a little nervous... damn it, now I'm twitching again! I hate it when that happens!!
No matter though, my indomitable skill will always defeat scare tactics.
On 1/12/07 12:25 PM, "Kara" wrote:
Ah, you finally admit I scare you...
Excellent.
On 1/12/07 12:57 PM, "Mark" wrote:
Ray,
I also know some guys that sell something for the twitching. Easy dosing, site injectable.
On 1/12/07 1:07 PM, "Kara" wrote:
Let him twitch. Muahahaha.
On 1/12/07 1:45 PM, "Laura" wrote:
Ray won in his match against Kara and is going to play in the 2nd round of our Ping Pong Tournament. Ray will be facing Yara in their match in Round 2. The dates for the matches for Round 2 will be posted on the event board today.
On 1/12/07 1:50 PM, "Ray" wrote:
All you losers who supported Team Kara have to give your next paycheck to the only man that supported me... Shaun!! (what a suck up!)
On 1/12/07 2:34 PM, "Shuan" wrote:
Congrats Ray!
While everyone was pulling for Kara, I had insider information that Ray was at home studying the art of Ping Pong by watching games on ESPN 8 "The Ocho". I also believe in the underdog, hence why I also bleed Mets Blue and Orange.
On 1/12/07 2:50 PM, "Eric" wrote:
I think I might have to sway my allegiance to Team Ray - you gotta feel bad for someone whose only supporter was there because he was promised monetary reward. (reference prior email).
On 1/12/07 4:22 PM, "Eric" wrote:
You see – Ray has one (paid) supporter and all of a sudden its going to his head...
Just remember that Shaun's allegiance can be bought by the highest bidder.
On 1/12/07 4:30 PM, "Shuan" wrote:
Ray pays well.
On 1/12/07 4:45 PM, "Ray" wrote:
Well, at least Shaun's honest. Pricey, but honest.
On 1/12/07 5:56 PM, "Shuan" wrote:
Hey a guy's gotta eat.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Burn the ping pong table before anybody gets hurt
-----Original Message-----
From: Laura
Sent: Thursday, January 11, 2007 4:38 PM
Subject: Ping Pong Tournament Dates
Everyone,
The players for Round 1 have been posted. Please get together with your opponent to determine when the best day and time is for you to have your match and then let me know when you would like to play. Available days begin on Monday through Thursday next week for this round.
Matches will be played across the hall in our new office.
On 1/12/07 11:09 AM, "Ray" wrote:
Dear Kitty:
I am more than happy to allow you to decide the day and time that I EMBARRASS YOU BEYOND ALL CONCEIVABLE RECOGNITION!!!!!
Respectfully,
Ray "No Mercy" K
-----Original Message-----
From: Kara
Sent: Friday, January 12, 2007 11:31 AM
Subject: Re: Ping Pong Tournament Dates
Dear "No Mercy:"
Every tournament has its underdog (or cat).
Beware,
Kitty
On 1/12/07 11:50 AM, "Ray" wrote:
Let me just state that I am not intimidated by you or your alleged guru (Eric). However, any underhanded attempts to distract me during the contest or to somehow sabotage my paddle will only piss me off further at which time I will literally try to hurt you with my 130mph volley!
You thought Forest Gump was good?? You ain't seen nothin' yet, sister!! So Run Kitty, Run... for the nearest exit!!!
On 1/12/07 12:15 PM, "Eric" wrote:
Dear Ray -
I suggest thay you please refrain wasting your time trash-talking with my client. I am busy getting her into a focused zen-like state of mind and your grandstanding attempts at trash talking will go unnoticed anyway. I would suggest that your time would be better spent practicing your ping-pong.
As for "underhanded attempts"... I guess you are used to the amateur leagues that you supposedly dominate. There will be no girly underhand used in this tournament - all attempts to distract you will be overhanded, or, at worst, sidearmed.
Eric "Miyagi-san" K
On 1/12/07 12:15 PM, "Eric" wrote:
You can also catch all the action in the Wa-hoon Saloon on one of their 3 plasma screens.
Also, you didn't hear it from me, but all wagers can be placed in the Wa-hoon Saloon. Give the bartender a thumbs-up sign, tell him you're Juanbanian, while staring off into the distance and he'll give you the latest odds.
From: Laura
Sent: Thursday, January 11, 2007 4:38 PM
Subject: Ping Pong Tournament Dates
Everyone,
The players for Round 1 have been posted. Please get together with your opponent to determine when the best day and time is for you to have your match and then let me know when you would like to play. Available days begin on Monday through Thursday next week for this round.
Matches will be played across the hall in our new office.
On 1/12/07 11:09 AM, "Ray" wrote:
Dear Kitty:
I am more than happy to allow you to decide the day and time that I EMBARRASS YOU BEYOND ALL CONCEIVABLE RECOGNITION!!!!!
Respectfully,
Ray "No Mercy" K
-----Original Message-----
From: Kara
Sent: Friday, January 12, 2007 11:31 AM
Subject: Re: Ping Pong Tournament Dates
Dear "No Mercy:"
Every tournament has its underdog (or cat).
Beware,
Kitty
On 1/12/07 11:50 AM, "Ray" wrote:
Let me just state that I am not intimidated by you or your alleged guru (Eric). However, any underhanded attempts to distract me during the contest or to somehow sabotage my paddle will only piss me off further at which time I will literally try to hurt you with my 130mph volley!
You thought Forest Gump was good?? You ain't seen nothin' yet, sister!! So Run Kitty, Run... for the nearest exit!!!
On 1/12/07 12:15 PM, "Eric" wrote:
Dear Ray -
I suggest thay you please refrain wasting your time trash-talking with my client. I am busy getting her into a focused zen-like state of mind and your grandstanding attempts at trash talking will go unnoticed anyway. I would suggest that your time would be better spent practicing your ping-pong.
As for "underhanded attempts"... I guess you are used to the amateur leagues that you supposedly dominate. There will be no girly underhand used in this tournament - all attempts to distract you will be overhanded, or, at worst, sidearmed.
Eric "Miyagi-san" K
On 1/12/07 12:15 PM, "Eric" wrote:
You can also catch all the action in the Wa-hoon Saloon on one of their 3 plasma screens.
Also, you didn't hear it from me, but all wagers can be placed in the Wa-hoon Saloon. Give the bartender a thumbs-up sign, tell him you're Juanbanian, while staring off into the distance and he'll give you the latest odds.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Talk two the Hand. Snap.
---------------On 1/2/07 3:17 PM, "Leah" wrote:
Also, Shaun steals my binders and pretends he is innocent.
Thank you,
Leah
---------------On 1/2/07 3:23 PM, "Shaun" wrote:
Leah must have sun poisoning because she is delirious and is making up stories.
Thanks.
Shaun “innocent until proven guilty” B.
---------------On 1/2/07 3:27 PM, "Juan" wrote:
Now now you too...
I agree with both of you..So Shaun, please try not to get caught stealing any more of her stuff until her sun poisoning wears off. Then she won’t feel the need to trouble me with it.
-Juan
---------------On 1/2/07 "Leah" wrote:
I realize English is your second language, so I won’t fault you for using the wrong form of confusing to/too/two.
_
Also, Shaun steals my binders and pretends he is innocent.
Thank you,
Leah
---------------On 1/2/07 3:23 PM, "Shaun" wrote:
Leah must have sun poisoning because she is delirious and is making up stories.
Thanks.
Shaun “innocent until proven guilty” B.
---------------On 1/2/07 3:27 PM, "Juan" wrote:
Now now you too...
I agree with both of you..So Shaun, please try not to get caught stealing any more of her stuff until her sun poisoning wears off. Then she won’t feel the need to trouble me with it.
-Juan
---------------On 1/2/07 "Leah" wrote:
I realize English is your second language, so I won’t fault you for using the wrong form of confusing to/too/two.
_
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