TO WHOM I MAY CONERN:
SR: I don't think I'm up for being conerned today.
I AM SEEKING A POSITION AS A "MARKETING PROFESSIONAL."
SR: I am seeking a "plucky" "chumscrubber" to "drive around in the shortbus."
...I POSSESS THE CREATIVE GENIUS TO DEVELOP WINNING STRATEGIES...
SR: I possess the marginal intellect necessary to ferret out wankers.
I AM APPLYING FOR THIS POSITION A SINCERE PASSION...
SR: You sent your resume to the wrong address. Seymore Butts has an office in California.
A TRUE POWER USER OF TODAY'S TECHNOLOGY, THIS HIGHLY RESULTS-DRIVEN, "GET-YOUR-PRODUCT-NOTICED" AWARD-WINNER AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN BY HIS PEERS AS "BULLDOG" AND THE "MAKE-IT-HAPPEN GUY"...
SR: I heard a story about a bulldog who went to the vet for eating a sock which lodged in his small intestine. The dog walked around with a funny expression on his face for a month.
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